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Friday, June 27th, 2003

Time:8:37 pm.
i decided to make my private journal unprivate
so add me if you didnt figure it out already and add me


19 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Tuesday, April 29th, 2003

Time:2:28 am.
Mood: crushed.
melanie told me to post this in an entry..so here i go..

last two days have been really bitter sweet..
I love adam so incrediably much.. he makes me feel better then I am.

On sunday I picked up the jinxed girls, we met mel at her job and headed to the place to meet up with lauren so we could be up front.. the list was messed up so mel and i had to push our way up but it worked out.. the show was good minus the pushing.. one of my fav parts was def party peopleing it with sara on the balcony waving.

after we introduced the girls and jennas bro to adam.. me and adam walked with out arms around each other cuz he really needed the chicken sandwich and these girls just kept following him

we had a ton of fun with sarah, jenna, and kristen and we decided to adopt them as our little sisters.

so today we went and I felt like crap the whole time.. and it was hot.. we had all access so we pretty much just roamed around and hung out with ed's girlfriend nicci. and ashley, lindsey and jake.

we again, as the day before.. "spoke" to dan keys on lora's behalf

a lot of funny things have happend but in the midst of the way i feel right now, i can't remember a damn thing.

truly has become one of the worst nights of my life..
i feel like shit.. i know that its all going to come crashing down soon and I have allready proven that I cannot handle it. I can't deal with other people. this is the worst feeling in the world. people are selfish... it'll be super apparent soon... i pray so much.

i've cried far to much for one night.. hopefully tomorrow is better.. i get to see days away and meet vanessa

i guess i didnt win those tickets. no mcr for me :(

i've read over this entry a million times and it doesnt make sense

2 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Tuesday, April 8th, 2003

Time:12:36 pm.
i've been going through old enteries and putting ones in the memories..

this is interesting


I Brought You My Bullets

Sunday, April 6th, 2003

Time:7:01 pm.
date : 8/7
2 day minimum stay

nightly fee
$215 - $235 35 ft rv
$175 - $180 30 ft rv
$150 - $155 campsite

thats some expensive shiz

thats for 6 people
it gets cheaper as it goes down

I Brought You My Bullets

Monday, March 31st, 2003

Time:5:23 am.
try to go to at least one of these shows..

Friday, April 4th -
LizzardFest 2003 @ This Day And Age, Medaille College w/ More Than Me, Junction 5, and many others... - starts @ 5:00pm

Brad (www.111records.com) is flying down from orlando to see them play.. they could use the love..

@ Classic Roxx in Cheektowaga
Doors @ 6:00 PM
$5 at the door
EVELYN HOPE (chris' band (old element 101).. everyone knows chris)
(i'm not really sure of the exact line up)

Monday , April 7th * $5

August Premier
ill at ease
tragic hero
looking for seven
5th pocket

@ Classic Roxx * 1182 Walden Ave * Cheektowaga, NY
Doors at 5 PM * All Ages Tickets Available at Door Only

it's august premier.. you have to go..

1 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Thursday, March 20th, 2003

Time:8:05 pm.
Mood: pissed off.
Seriously.. our country is in termoil and all you people can do is bitch back and forth about who's educated, who's right, who's opinions matter.. SHUUUUUUUT UP.

People are dying.. People I know are fighting for our country.. and all you can do is fight amongst yourselves?


Even more childish to do it in LIVEJOURNAL.


NO ONE is educated. We're educated by the media which is select in it's information to you, and the information it has. So don't pretend to know what's going on, because I'm sure NONE of us know even a PORTION Of what's going on. They tell you what they want you to know.

Who cares if you're pro war or anti war? WE"RE AT WAR! Get over it. There's NOTHING you can do about it.. but pray and hope that as few innocent people as possible become victim to this.

But if you say stupid shit, people are going to call you out on it. Especially when you don't even know that his name is spelled Saddam, not Sadaum. Your snide remarks, sarcasm, and stupidity just makes you look even stupider.

This is a sad fucking time in our nation.. and even a sadder time in my "circle of friends" because.. I honestly thought people had more sense, tact, knowledge, and consideration to act so fucking childish.

and i just fed right into it..
brought this journal back for this..

1 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Wednesday, February 26th, 2003

Time:11:26 am.
i think i added everyone that asked to be.. if not drop me a note..

this journal is gone..

16 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Monday, February 24th, 2003

Time:1:51 pm.
Mood: uncomfortable.
im officially done reading people's livejournals..
cuz the very people that say they do not want drama.. are the very people that are trying to start it..

if you don't like me.. dont pretend to.. dont try to be my friend.. dont act like my friend.. that's called being two faced.

i'm done here..
i have a new journal.. because i like writing.. but i refuse to make it like the lj's have turned out being lately.
if you want the name let me know
and i'll add you if you're dramafree

ambiguous enteries open for interpratation for the sole purpose of making people think it's about them
using lj for a means to fight/make people jealous/ hurt peoples feelings

its your journal.. do as you wish.. and i'll make the proactive change.

i won't pretend that i havent done things wrong in the past.. but I really want this to be my livejournal.. not my livehurtpeoplesfeelingsdramafilledjournal

its become more of.. what people read.. then what i feel .. journal.. i was dumb.

14 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Sunday, February 23rd, 2003

Time:8:51 pm.
i'm really confused about tv..
well first of all i was watching this help me im a celeb show and julie browns face is all messed up..

i was also watching the big urban myth show.. and was that really ricky g? cuz im really confused.. i swear it was tho..

watching the surreal life.. mc hammer is a preacher?

today was a pretty good day

3 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Friday, February 21st, 2003

Subject:tonight was amazing fun
Time:3:02 am.
tonight was great
but i feel like poo
so im goin to bed
welcome home <3

I Brought You My Bullets

Wednesday, February 19th, 2003

Time:3:35 pm.
Mood: pissed off.
i really need someone to go with me to get jenn..
i dont want to go alone
my cell phone doesnt work
and i dont want to be alone if something happens(which im sure it wouldnt)
the only problem is you'd need to get to medina..
i'm leaving around 4 because i have to help my sister with something .. and we'll be back about 1ish... if not sooner

I Brought You My Bullets

Time:8:45 am.
i like mushrooms
even more i like lindsey phone calls
why dont we talk on the phone like that a lot?
except she coughs when we laugh
allegra d on its way

jenn misses CR? weird!
whats up chicks
yesterday was tiring
today is a dr appts
i gotta get going

1 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Tuesday, February 18th, 2003

Subject:how fitting
Time:12:09 pm.
fraying all the ends..

You are the last one who can recognize his friends and nothing ever changes.

You're always exchanging peace of mind for everything. You want everything. You want it all.

I can see it in your eyes. I can see right through you, there's nothing to you.

You conjure lies and you'll surround yourself with everyone who says what you need to feel all right

everyone who speaks the words that make you perpetually contrived they say what you want to hear say what you want to hear what you want to ...

why can't you be strong?

1 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Saturday, February 15th, 2003

Time:9:09 pm.
i have yet to figure out.. why people use livejournal to contact other people in a public forum about things that are bothering them.. you could at LEAST have the common courtesy to contact them directly.. maybe mel's right about reading out lj's.. it just ends up pissing me off..

Today.. I found out something amazing.. something that made me cry.. something that i'll count down the days until. If Melanie can't experience it with me, I want to see if Megan will.. because I know she'll appreciate the experience... even if she won't appreciate the means.

im pickin up jenn on fri.. if anyone wants to go.. let me know

3 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Time:2:01 pm.
thank you jessica for the card <3 your card was 1/2 of the cards i got (meaning i got 2) it meant a lot to me

eh i'm feeling down. cuz im sick.. n cuz so many people that i thought cared, don't really care.. it sucks.. it's kinda like a kick in the face.

im feeling dizzy
gotta lay back down

2 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Subject:sucky bday
Time:7:39 am.
Mood: sick.
so my birthday sucked
I was sick all day .. my side hurt and i had a 100 temp. which i still have but the hurting is gone.. we got movies and wings and watched them.. I feel bad because I'm worthless when I have a temp.. its like *temp* = *carrie sucks*

we're supposed to go get my car fixed today but i dunno..
thanks again to all the people that wished me happy bday.. i wish it had turned out happy.. i think bdays are jinxed.

I Brought You My Bullets

Friday, February 14th, 2003

Time:7:43 am.
Mood: sick.
wow.. for some weird reason i have this feeling I'm being thrown into some hot drama that I didn't create.. that's pretty damn sad considering that I'm the last person that should be given the drama... oh well.. i'm worried that people might be making things up and throwing things around where they shouldnt.. oh well.. childish baby games.. whoever is in the wrong.. and i refuse to play them... if you have a problem with someone you should just come right out to them and say it.. its the most sucessful way to solve an issue or infact a misunderstanding.

tonight was ok minus the fact my stomach pains never went away..
but i <3 megan, linds, and mel
tonight will be good i hope with meganandmel
we'll see
i feel like shit now
so off to bed

happy 24th to me.. <3

5 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Wednesday, February 12th, 2003

Subject:events of today
Time:7:03 pm.
bad weather
everything closed
heard a really bad song
was sad that it was bad
realized a lot of times people dont respond to me
cleaned a lot
got up really early
the phone rang a lot
it never ever was who i wanted it to be(loan)
was happy when megans dad said weather will be ok!
made the bday mix
made mels mix only it didnt work so i have to redo it

the end i guess

1 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Time:7:55 am.
Dear weather,
Please be ok tomorrow.
It's necessary that you are.
I need to go.
my mom says it'll be fine.
but i'm nervous.
thank you,

Ps. You can call it my birthday present.

5 Brought Me Their Love ** I Brought You My Bullets

Tuesday, February 11th, 2003

Time:8:49 pm.
most of you dont read this anyway.. but you should

You know it tears me up inside
to see the feelings that you hide
Hide inside that empty bottle
I wish you saw how great you were
I wish you saw what life was worth
You wouldn't have to hide your problems
And I don't care what you might think
I think you've had too much to drink
Can't even talk when you're this way

Run away, run away
But that won't make it any better
Run away, run away
And make tomorrow harder to live than today

There's so much out there you could miss
there's so much life out there to live
If you would just believe in yourself
You know you're better than all of this
you know you've got so much to give
But you're so afraid to give of yourself

There's a bright light shining inside you
it shines out through your eyes
Don't drown it away, don't be afraid, don't hide
Let it shine

You say you're looking for happiness
but when it comes, you run away from it
You tell yourself you don't deserve it
There's not much more that I can do now the rest is up to you
Until you love yourself, you'll never change
You'll keep on running
Until you deal with today

I Brought You My Bullets

LiveJournal for Care.

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